Are We There YET??

Remember when you were a kid and Your Birthday, Christmas, the end of the school year were just a month away? You could watch the time go by on the calendar and mark off the days, one by one as time crawled by and pretty soon, pretty soon it was Your Birthday, Christmas or the end of the school year!

Huzzah.

Now. Imagine, you're a dog. You cant read. You cant hold a pencil.

You're living your life in Alabama with a nice lady named Pat. One day, Pat is sad. Very very sad. And you and your roommate are shipped off to a boarder while you "wait for a bus to Wisconsin?" What is this Wisconsin?

They put you in a kennel in a car and every 90 minutes, you get out and switch cars, taking you further and further north, to Wisconsin.

At last you finally arrive and everybody talks very fast. And its a lot colder than Alabama but it feels nice. The people in Wisconsin, give you a bath, while talking very fast about vet appointments. After that it's hard to hear because after the bath, they put you in a kennel with a blow dryer and you cant hear a thing. 

So far Wisconsin is not great.

After you are dried and your facial hair gets a bit of a trim, you and your roommate get into a car headed for The Lodge. When you get out there are some resident dogs there that you growl at a little bit because you're a little freaked out over everything that's happened. Your roommate pees a little because she's a little nervous. As you sniff around The Lodge, you realize that no one here is going to hurt you and you stop growling at everybody. 

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning you get to get back in the car and go to THE DOG PARK. You get to run and chase and breathe cold cold air! THIS IS AWESOME!

After your Wednesday trip to the dog park, the man of The Lodge, runs you and your roommate over to HAWS for an appointment. Uh, what they didnt tell you what that the appointment is at the SNIP Clinic at the Vets office INSIDE of HAWS.

Doh.

You and your roommate both have blood tests that come back positive, where in the medical world, positive is a negative thing. You both have heartworms. UGH. Oh, and you are getting your nuts cut. 

The Lodge man leaves you at HAWS, takes your roommate and you take a little nap. You wake up a few hours later feelin' dopey and wierd and Yow, what is goin' on down there??

You get to go back to the dog park the next morning with everybody buuuuuut you get to stay on the leash. This lasts one day. The next day, the woman from The Lodge tries to keep you tethered to her while walking buuuuut you give a good yank and you're free!!!!

Monday morning comes, you, your roommate and your friends get back in the car to go to the dog park like ususual. The woman is happy but there is something that you just cant put your paw on that is disturbing her. 

After a good breakfast, you and your roommate are back in the car and headed, WAIT, Where?? Back to HAWS. First they take your roommate back, bring her back and then you. You get back in the car and are headed back towards The Lodge when HOLY SJ&* What in the name of Great Annie's fanny is going on?? You and your roommate are both in soooo much pain. You try to dig your way out of the car and she finds herself in the footwell. Oh.My.Dogness. What is going on??

You refuse to take any offered anything. The liver sausage that way urged down your throat comes back up. The woman says it would have made you feel better but you're not buying it. NO WAY.

The next morning starts out the same. You and your roomate are back in the car, heading east. And, wait a minute, we get to go in again?? Awesome. 

Then, it hits you. 

Not going back with the lady. So a little tiny 95# lady scoops up your 70# fluffy body and carries you back to the SNIP clinic. 

You are in pain again. So is your roommate. Come on. 

In two days, you are back to relative normal but your roommate is not faring so well. She's a bit more sensitive than you. 

Fast forward two weeks. You are tired of the inside of the house. 

It has snowed twice since you began your house arrest and dog-gone it you want to go out and run in the cold air and roll in the snow. The lady, the man and the teenagers at The Lodge put you on very very short leashes and you are not alllowed to move any further than it takes to pee. And poop. 

Come on.

The Lodge has a pup who is about two year old that really wants to play with your roommate and has started to play bow to her a lot. Just when things start to get interesting, the woman breaks up the playing and its everybody back to their couches.

So let me get this straight, I'm terrified of the floor. I cant run in the snow and when I try to get somebody's attention, I'm told no. 

This has been great so far. 

The woman says we have two more weeks and will let us go for short, slow walks down the street at the end of next week. By slow, she means less than a snail's pace. Just enough to get my brain tired, she says. 

Come on. 

So this is where we're at. 

Sigh.